Patty:  Hey there. Patty Domínguez. Happy Friday. Episode 18 on a real talk episode I just wanted to drop some words of wisdom.

Yeah. I’m so wise.

For some the information that I’ve just been coming across when it comes to the clients that I work with and so I always think these Real Talk episodes are good and they just kind of come to me as topics come up in conversations that I have. And one of them was around the who am I conversation with who am I to do that. You know I’ve never done that before or very intimidated by so and so because they seem like they have their act together and I don’t really I’m not at that level yet so I’m a little intimidated there.

These are conversations that come up and I’m sure at one point in time you may have felt the same I know I have felt the same even the fact that I’m doing a podcast I would have never thought I could do a podcast say maybe 10 years ago.

And what I have found is that there is such authenticity to our real stories the real experiences that we go through as human beings and our experiences that really create a point of fascination. I love Jim Rowan and he is a business philosopher. Now, remember one thing that I heard from him was that interested people want to know if it works and fascinated people want to know how it works. So the thing that makes an idea a person, a topic, a subject, a book, fascinating is when somebody wants it when they stop in their tracks and they say well that’s interesting.

How do you how does that work? Tell me more. They’ve created a point of engagement with you and what’s really fascinating to me is that for so long I would hide the things that made me what I believe is flawed. I would hide out because I was so ashamed of them because I was so not the same as everybody else around me. And this is what I mean is that I think about for yourself what is it that makes you fascinating. What is it that people are interested and really fascinated to say well wait a minute. But tell me more about that. Think about those times those stories that you can share. Because here are the deal people are casually interested in maybe what it is that you do if they’re casually interested. There’s a really limited value of exchange. But if people are fascinated by you there’s the. Open Door in which you can create a real connection.

And that’s a very powerful thing. So at that point, they want to know more about you. They know what they want to know why you do what you do how you do what you do what is it that makes you take you to know so that it requires a certain amount of disclosure on your part to share more about those things that maybe have had held you back in the past or maybe a mystery about your behavior or a process or the way that you think or the curiosity which you operate.

So for me the whole box or the mysterious things about my behavior is it has to do a lot with the background and I’ve noticed that when I share more about my background and certain clients maybe we have these conversations and how I grew up or certain things that in the past day I was so ashamed about just come from coming from a situation where I was physically abused as a kid and I stuttered so bad.

So bad growing up that I couldn’t even say my name which is really crazy. And I used to hide situations I used to hide and speak in situations people told me that that I would be doing a podcast where I would be doing public speaking presentations. I would say there is no way and the thing is I diffused the things that held me back when I started putting it out there and just saying.

Guess what. If you hear me on this call or if you hear me in this presentation or if I stutter I’m a podcast it is OK. It’s not contagious. And as long as the message gets through I’m good with that. And what happened is it just diffused the thing and the ugly of the fear that I felt of what used to hold me back. And now.

It makes it an interesting point of conversation. And guess what people don’t give a shit or they really don’t. So the disclosure of what holds you back and is a real thing.

It’s really authentic and you do it in a way where it’s creating just a peek under the tent of what makes you tick and you’re using it in a way that you can engage in a greater level and so that is that’s just one example of people are fascinated when they hear that I used to have a really bad stutter and I was I really that’s really interesting. And by way of that by the way of me admitting that it just creates a poignant connection and it’s a point where people remember.

So what is? Just ask yourself what is it that makes you vested in the things that you’ve been hiding. And it can be ugly warts the truths. You’d be surprised things I’ve heard that come to mind where people started to remember. I happened to see one of them. OK, this is a very unhealthy it’s an unhealthy admission I have but I like real hassle Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. That is the brainless TV that I catch every week. When the season is on and just started it and one of them and they don’t watch the whole franchise

I just watch that particular one I don’t know why. Because I don’t know. I just love it anyway. One of the characters or the people on the show. Her daughter had admitted to having you know having had an eating disorder and it was really vulnerable of her to put it. On social media. And she said that when she talked about how she had an eating disorder she just got this massive flood of people contacting her wanting to know how did she do.

What is she doing to contain that or to overcome that? Or what kind of advice is she seeking and what she found as a result of that is that it’s given her a greater point of connection with people and she’s like this is really interesting. Is this a topic that I can dive more into so that that was really fascinating it just comes up, again and again, the things that happen to us as setbacks the traumas all of that is what makes us who we are. And when you’re vulnerable enough to share that I believe that is what creates a point of fascination.

So I just wanted to share that with you because what I have found is that the more that I’m authentic and unapologetic the more that I connect and my goal is connections at scale and I want you to be fascinating too so I’ve just been coming at this realization that this fascination.

It comes at a price you know because of that personal narrative. Some people are going to connect with it and some people are not. But at the core when you stop and people are like wait that’s really interesting. Tell me more about it. It is twofold. To me, it’s a win-win I get to connect at a greater level. And the other side of my win is that I diffuse all the things that I used to be so ashamed about. So I invite you to really take a good look at your personal narrative and share it. Share vulnerably because you just are probably a lot more fascinating and give yourself credit for. I hope you have a great one. And thank you so much for catching Her Legacy Podcast.

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