Patty: Hey, hey, my legacy there this is Episode 25 this is your solo show. It’s just me with some real talk and I wanted to share a revelation.
Not necessarily a revelation as much as pulling Macros it’s about time I got this. This whole concept of just asking just letting go just letting go of the assumptions that we make when we don’t want to inconvenience someone by saying hey I need help or just asking or I mean I really think it comes down to letting go of control and really stepping up and just asking for help.
I mean you’re not fully anybody right. If you’re if you’re making it look like you have it all together. The fact of the matter is you don’t. I know I did it for a very very long time and I always used to say oh it’s because I have a type A personality I’m Alpha person or maybe you are not an alpha person and more of a behind the scenes Type person and more quiet and you’re. And the outlook that you have is that want to really inconvenience anybody. Either way it doesn’t matter because.
Fact of the matter is when you look at it you just can’t do it all. And so what I have really discovered in this time that I have been self-employed since January of 2013 is that even if I think I can get it all together and have it all together and I can keep it all together it’s just a bunch of bullshit you cannot. So take inventory. I beg you to take inventory because what’s going to happen is you’re going to get adrenal fatigue. Just like I did.
You are going to have potentially hormonal issues just like I did. You’re going to have this malaise about you where you’re dragging you’re just feeling like you’re dragging and you’re feeling bugged down and you feel like you know what. How long is it going to take for this business to take off so that I can stop feeling this way? And the fact of the matter is just take inventory.
Are you doing too much because you don’t have to? And the whole mentality of the grind and the hustle and the discipline that I was watching OK. I completely admit sometimes I watch real housewives and I was looking at one of the episodes when one of the Housewives was saying she’s like I still hustling I’m hustling hard and ever since
I started my program a coaching program with my mentor Jim Forten he’s all about the whole hustle idea is just a bunch of B.S. I I Don’t give into it.
It’s so ridiculous. Why do you have to hustle anything you don’t? And so he is about being practical focusing in on the strengths that you have. And of course asking for help when the areas where you just know that you’re not good enough meaning you don’t have that talent you don’t have that super power.
It’s not a matter of saying oh I can’t do it because I’m stellar do anything to do with intelligence it’s taking inventory again going to that point of are you doing too much. Are you spending time on dumb shit that you shouldn’t be spending time with. Doing things that you just shouldn’t be doing when you could outsource that to someone.
Or are you saying yes when you really should’ve said no. So that goes into a whole other area that I’m going to skip for right now. But thing is when you ask ask for help ask for the assistance that you’re looking for that you wished you could have and while you’re thinking of oh it’s just easier if I do it because I used to do the same thing.
Now why don’t you just ask? You know ask yourself can you outsource that particular thing that you think you’re doing that you’re saving money on so that you could just figure it out and keep doing it. Because here’s the deal. Ever since I started outsourcing I have more time.
Isn’t that crazy. I mean I’m so grateful for my team. I am grateful for how they help me. I am grateful for the little things that they do and how they’re eager to help. And it is just so awesome. And I honor them and it took me so long to get to this point where I realized I don’t have to do everything by myself.
So I learned this from a business partner that I had when she said to me one time in a very eloquent statement that I still use to this day when I say to someone who I can read needs help. For example a client and I say to them how can I support you and that small phrase how can I support you is so meaningful isn’t it. It’s magical. I mean it’s really motivating to the other person to lean in and say yes to receiving help.
Right because you are. You have to understand that you don’t have to do it all. And when you think about those words I support you. And it feels so good to know that somebody actually wants to help. So flip it around and say well why don’t you just ask that asking is not taking. I used to believe that that was the case that I was taking.
And the thing is I realize that when I’m coming from a place of sincerity and transparency and authenticity asking for help is just in essence letting go of control that you think you have. Because I know a lot of type a people and I remember a coach using the statement when he was speaking to someone who was massively Type A and he said to her you are so in control of control that you’re out of control because they’re crazy.
I mean it really really makes sense when you put it that way. It’s like lack of control just let go and you’ll realize just how close you are to making life easy. It doesn’t have to be a bear. Let go of the burnout because really what the hell are you doing for
Right. I mean this whole deal about going into business for yourself was to create freedom. In essence maybe more time maybe more money so really reassess those priorities. You know what do you really want out of the business that you’re building. Is it more time. Is it more money or perhaps go back to the core values that you have.
Have you ever really thought about that? I know a lot of people are thinking about core values or I am hearing a lot more people being really in tuned to that now that just could be because my particular activating system has on Hiler when I hear people talking about their core values.
Just because that’s something that I resonate with deeply. I always go back to my core values now when it comes to how I hire when it comes to the type of clients that I’m looking for when it comes to the projects that I take on.
I am very very very focused on my core values and my core values are freedom because no matter what. I literally could never go back to a 9 to 5 because I know too much.
This is another quote from podcasts that I heard which is so smart he said I can never go back to a job because I know too much. Not that I know about me that I’m so intelligent. But what it means is I know too much of what it’s like to live on the other side and the other side meaning freedom freedom to do what you want with whom you want where you want and fact is I can do my work from anywhere in the world and I can make my own day and make my own schedule. I don’t have to ask for permission.
It is absolutely stellar and I love that and I am never willing to give it up. I mean sometimes I sit in just in awe of the freedom that I have now and I wonder why I waited so long to to start. My own business. Why why. But that’s okay. It all worked out the way it’s supposed to. So go back to your core values going back to core values my core values freedom.
My other one is contribution. I know that I only want to work with clients with people that have an in enterprise a business a cause that is focus on contribution that is focused on making the world a better place.
Very focused on that. In fact I’ve had other opportunities with my client work that it just didn’t resonate with my core values. I always go back to that as my true north where it was a good opportunity.
But I knew that the reason that they were doing what they were doing is it for the greater good. Now that may seem Kumbaya to you. And if so what’s high probability that we’re going to be working together. That’s OK.
But so it’s freedom. It is contribution and lastly my last core value is prosperity. Why. Prosperity because I believe that there is the opportunity to make money in what it is that you do.
And just to be abundant and I know this to be true in the the more that I let go of control issues that I was having around so many different areas of my life. I know that it is even more true in terms of prosperity and it’s really a magical place to be when you lack of control and you’re asking for help and you’re asking for assistance and you’re asking for assistance.
Excuse me. And they are asking for help. And so tune into those core values ask yourself what are what are they. And ask ask for help. Lack of control. Because here’s the deal. Since focusing on more freedom. Right when I went back to my core values and I said OK well how can I make more time for myself. How can I let go of this control.
The control that I think that I’m controlling that I’m so out of control. So I focused on that and what one of the first things I did is have to build the team to build a team of the right people that resonate with my core values.
I work with women I work with stay at home moms which I absolutely love. I for one wish I would have had the opportunity to work from home the way that these moms are working from home to help me.
And I’m very very supportive of that because I believe in family. I mean that’s so important. And if a mom has the ability to work from home and and and do her own thing and have that freedom boom it resonates with me.
And I know that that loyalty is going to be there from from the team as well. So focusing on more freedom by building my team by letting go of the control by saying
OK go ahead and handle that task and go ahead and manage that project and go ahead and handle that one piece and go ahead and add your own flair to the podcast show if you want. I’m open. And guess what. It’s working because I have found more joy in the little things like sitting down with a hot cup of coffee with my husband and just catching up right.
It’s so great. Instead of saying rush and go, Oh my God I have I have another phone call I got to go or I have to get this podcast out I got to go.
And so I’m really being rewarded by making these decisions to letting go of control and just asking for help. And it’s been really rewarding as a result. And so once you just ask once you delegate and let go you’ll wonder why the hell it took you so long to do so in the first place. So that is my message for this episode is really just asking delegate and let go of control and you will see how much more fulfilling your work is.
How much more time you’re going to have. And so it’s like peeling an onion right. Like I know that I am a work in progress at all times and I’ve just really realized this year alone how much more impactful my work has been how much more focused I am how much happier I am and more at peace and more.
I don’t know just easy going around of all of it because I’ve just let go. Control. It’s really really cool. So my next stop for this year is more self-care and by self-care I mean really really being diligent in carving out those times are really awesome at self but the time in the morning where I have my routine
I do I have no says and I do all these other things but the self-care in terms of let me go for a spa day. I don’t do any of that stuff. I used to I don’t do it. They’ve just been really thinking about how much I miss it.
So that’s the next thing that’s the next stop on this journey to being a better version of myself. So I hope you enjoyed this episode and just really I want to bring the light this whole concept of letting go of control. Asking for help and again it is so much easier when you start on that and you let go of all these preconceived notions that you have that people aren’t going to do things as well as you do them it’s just absolutely ludicrous.
So let go of control. Ask for help and you’ll have a more peaceful mindset and you reward yourself with more time and will be all right. So let me know what you thought about this episode. Feel free to send me a tweet or on Instagram or send me an email and of course hit the subscribe button if you haven’t done so.
And I look forward to continuing this journey on her legacy podcast because I really believe in leaving the legacy is so so important. So we’ll catch you next time. Have a great one.