Patty: Thank you so much for being here. It is always an honor to serve you with a nugget or two of these amazing women that we feature every single week. This episode is with Tara Romano an amazing woman head and heart.

So. Always willing to be better to be a better version of herself and for that I admire her and the incredible work that she’s doing with her brand tone and tease. Now here’s the deal. It wasn’t always all fabulous.

Tara went through some setbacks and this episode we’re talking about how to get unstuck in your business. She shares vulnerably about the ego that was overtaking her mission to grow a brand and she was making it about the numbers making it about the people that she was I guess influencing or impressing if you will. I think that’s a better word impressing and it just wasn’t working out. And she went through this whole evolution as an.

Owner of her business and her brand. And I just absolutely adore her so please listen closely. There’s also details about an event that she has coming up on the East Coast as the time of this recording. So make sure to check that out again everything about Tara Romano on this episode and how to get unstuck in your business. Thanks for being here.

Patty: All right Tara Romano thank you so much for being on her legacy podcast. It has always gotten me that don’t you. I think it’s now seven or eight years.

Tara: A long time.

Patty: And here we are so welcome to Her Legacy Podcast. It’s such a pleasure.

Tara: I mean I’m clearly so excited to be on here because you know how obsessed I am with you Patty.

Patty: You’re so awesome. Thank you for always being so encouraging and I’m just so grateful. Like when I first quit my job and I was working as a freelancer and starting this whole journey of the boss free at the time you were one of the first people who hired me you are thinking about your brand developing this new brand called Tone and Tease.

So we’ll go into that but I just want to say how much you’ve evolved how much we both grown and initial so awesome to see that. I love that we keep in touch intermittently and you tell me about what’s going on with you. I’m excited to hear about what’s new for this year for you. But first let’s get braggy. I want to know what do you believe your super power is.

Tara: Oh I love that we just got right into it and I feel my superpower is truly assisting women to tap into their alter ego. That other side of them that everyone has that we forget about that can kind of change their thoughts change their conversations change the way they shop and the world changed the way they walk from their cars to this door.

I really have a way of setting the stage for that for them and helping them tap into that because as women we wear so many hats right. Their moms’ daughters’ sister’s friends so make careers multitasker galore.

And we sometimes forget to put ourselves first. So I kind of allow women to get a little selfish and just remind them that like that person that alter ego is in there and like my alter egos EVA so I got to bring her out so I help other women do that.

Patty: And how did you come to that point where you recognized the importance of this alter ego.

Tara: It was through practice to actually doing these classes evolving the brand sharing it with more women. And it works. You know I’ve been in business for over 20 years and I’m like oh I’ll just you know this is just another fitness dance class like super cool.

But I saw women just change within minutes like I would invite them to take their hair down. I would invite them to wear you know comfortable clothes to class or maybe more fun a little lipstick on and just like watching that can’t be obsessed with themselves in the mirror.

Like some people would come into class with their arms crossed and just kind of like that and then really watching them take the guard down and really get into their body and into the movement. So I was like Wow.

So that woman was one way when she came in and just a few minutes later this is even before I put the music on it’s just talking to them and you know like moving a little bit unlike we can tap into that even when we’re not here in class we can do that you know when we’re home or when we need to make a phone call so yeah over time.

Patty: So fantastic and I know that you started out in fitness like you said and you just kind of transition into I think a more meaningful way of being fit is incorporating the alter ego persona incorporating way to give women permission to just own that space for themselves or almost like reawaken it. Right. Because I feel like we all have it and we feel that.

Tara: I forget. Like I forget that still funny because sometimes like when I’m in my work and I’m doing so many new things this year I’m like All right. What I tell people in my class right now if I’m telling other people so I hope like tap into that other person like let’s do it right now so it’s even just quick movement just moving your body like changing rooms you know taking your hair down putting something different on to wear it’s so many different things and it’s so many different things for different people depending on where they’re at.

Patty: Yeah for sure. It’s almost like I hear you’re saying like changing your environment right. Changing your environment changing the way you’re moving your body changing the way your hair is right. Like I always have a top on going when I working.

But then it’s like oh let me fix my hair. Let me do my hair. Let me play all my beauty. And it sounds a bit weird saying that because I know I’m uncomfortable with it but it is, it so important. Once you awaken that it’s almost you forget why you ever did it. How’s that going so to speak.

Tara: Oh my God, It’s so true and anyone who is working in the online space where they work their business from home. So like I do all the time and I’m like I love working outside of the home. So like a Starbucks. I love working at hotels where there’s other people in energy so like a couple of times lately I’ve gotten ready and I take my computer out gone to the coffee shop it just feels so good when you’re like really feeling like a boss babe.

I like a coffee shop or like the hotel I had a glass of wine at happy hour and like if you’re out and I just the energy and the was so shifted and I got so much work done in two hours and it was like oh my gosh it was awesome.

Patty: I do love that I do love doing that at a hotel where you’re sitting at the bar you’re having like a little nibble and a glass of wine and you’re like you know what I’m owning this moment not only mark up my business but I’d love cool as out.

All right. So tell me I know that your whole journey of being a fitness and then developing this amazing YouTube following which you were in the YouTube game way long ago.

Tara: Yeah.

Patty: And so that was kind of your first entree into that world and you didn’t even really know that you were getting hints about charges about that like I did from offline to online and this was. A while back.

Tara: So I actually have chills when you brought that out because you’re right I had no idea what I was doing with my dance business and being on YouTube or with network marketing. Literally no clue. I just did it. It’s funny it isn’t.

You can probably attest to this back then I wasn’t worried I wasn’t feeling judged or comparing or anything I was just doing. So when it came to YouTube. So I had gotten Zumba certified and I remember these awesome girls on YouTube doing this choreography and I said to my friend she showed me I’m like well what are they doing. They’re like she’s just sharing her like the dances that she made up and like how cool is that.

Like oh I want to do that so some time went by my friends had a video camera and this is before you were like recording on your iPhone. It’s so funny to say back then. Oh my gosh. So he would just record me in class and then

I would record after class and say hey guys it’s Tara from get your feet on me and I would just consistently do it and I would talk before my videos and then all of a sudden people were just messaging me and I got invited to come to places that connect to people literally from all over the world.

So that happens and yeah they definitely have moved away from it but I still am a part of that in some way shape or form because it’s kind of like where I grew up.

Patty: And you’ve had this amazing journey of moving from struggling to fill classes once upon a time and you were just you know. Going out there handing out flyers filling up your classes and getting paid like 20 dollars an hour.

Tara: My first goal is 17 an hour. And then when I left the corporate. Yeah I would charge four dollars a class like because I was so nervous to charge more for my punch cards were for 40 for 10 and then I would charge five per class. Yeah.

Patty: Wow. And then you get introduced to network marketing and you had an amazing trajectory. Network marketing really successful. The one thing about you is that you’re always really bullish on taking action taking action being persistent.

And that formula has always work really well until you were developing your own brand with Tone and Tease. So Tone and Tease became a new journey for you. Otherwise your book you were doing Zumba and you wanted to add your own flair. So you developed a brand called Tone and Tease.

You wanted to move it might have a bit of it where you thought that you would bring this amazing success into other areas of your life.

Tara: So if you’re saying I had such success in network marketing and it was just like it happened. And I could say between that and my YouTube following it happened almost effortlessly and I say that because I was in such low of no comparison not looking what anyone else was doing I was really looking at what other people were doing as inspiration.

I’m like wow they’re doing that. I totally feel like I could and I come from a family of workers. I started working when I was 11. Last time I had other bosses I had seven W2 forms. So it was always a worker. So. When Tone and Tease started happening I’m like.

Why don’t I start certifying instructor because instructors are after I would teach a class or like how can I teach this? Where can I find this? So coming from the fitness world it just made sense to certify other instructors. So the first. And that’s where we really started working together and creating the Website. But I’m. The first round of instructors. It was amazing. It went so well because I guess at that time people just really wanted that until it became a lot of work.

And I remember that one thing that we did. I’ll never forget this Patty where I was asking feedback from people remember I don’t remember when I called that I maybe you can clarify for everybody but like when you ask people for feedback you’re just assuming your friends and people that care about your assuming they’re going to just give feedback. And I got a few feedback that like hit me hard of how people perceived me.

And it literally knocked me down. I was as I call you hysterical which are not uncommon for somebody. But I got really in my head I started comparing myself my Website my brand the way I was doing things to everyone because I had such effortless access. On the one side at that point I just assumed that 20’s would be.

Effortless too I just thought it would float like the rest. I was building with clenched fists gritted teeth. Every Monday when I would meet with my online team for the Web site I would actually have anxiety in this that I was living in California was horrible. I actually forgot why I even started the Tone and Tease brand at that point because I was so looking at everyone else and I wanted it to succeed so badly. I don’t even know what that meant because.

I felt like at that time I didn’t know what it meant. Just like really succeed. Like I was looking for monetary things I wanted numbers. I wanted more people.

Patty: Right.

Tara: I wanted more acknowledgements. I cared so much that people would see me still rising you know.

Patty: Yeah. Well if I can interject I think that’s really your frame of reference was all of the success that you had a network marketing right. And then like you were saying well clearly a translatable into this. Right. Like I always skyrocket my business.

I’m a friggin boss in this area like that shows me the numbers of people the majority my team the success that I’m having. And it was like that moment I think that it’s so funny that that feedback it rocked you in such a way and really the context was.

Find out more about how you’re showing up like your brand personality what people know you for it was really coming from a place of like just finding your superpowers finding the reasons that people follow you. And it was just like two little pieces of feedback that I probably would pull it out. I say every day and like I would show it to be like oh my god what was I freaking out about. Like it does anything but the meaning we give it right.

Tara: Yeah so true

Patty: and it’s like. That was OK that’s about your journey that was where you work with time and the fact that it just knock you on your ass when you were just like oh my God now what do I do. So you were kind of trudging right. It was like like. Kind of treading water in the middle of the ocean and seeing that the Promised Land is in front of you and you’re just not able to move. And that’s so unlike you.

Tara: Yeah.

Patty: Because you’re like such a mover and shaker so what was going on at that time. How long were you in that space?

Tara: Yeah. And a year and a half. It’s funny because I can see it. I can see it like oh my gosh California was such a whirlwind for those listening I lived in New Jersey my entire life because I was traveling so much for these dance classes and it was amazing.

I was going to California law. And this one time I was in California when it was a snow storm in Jersey and I couldn’t come home right away. So I’m sitting there outside Starbucks it’s 80 degrees in January I’m like why don’t I live here. Had nothing holding me back no kids no significant other. I did have my studio I was renting but something was pulling me for more.

So I picked up I moves and I had so many friends but they were so spread out and it took me a while to create the community that I built back home and I miss that. So if you live in California or whether you know anything about it or not like it has a lot of traffic and it takes some time to form a community anyway. But where I was living it was really challenging for me. Plus I was traveling a lot. So I wasn’t connecting with people. I was just working out and working and traveling. Right. So I was really if this didn’t work.

Like whom would I be? That’s the space that I was in. So again the first few certifications are amazing. And then I had to figure out this membership site. A lot of things that I’m that were new to me and I’m comfortable I worked with the wrong people. I spent too much money. I was all in my ego. I worked from such ego at that time that it came to a point and this was as I was ready to move back home to New Jersey because my father’s house and. I said I can’t do this anymore. I’m like I can’t. Even remember what I’m doing or why I’m doing it like what is Tone and Tease anyway like I’m just going to feel this way all the time.

So I literally when I moved home was just really really like not good place decided to put on hold. And like literally everything I was doing it wasn’t teaching classes it wasn’t really I was having my network marketing business maintained. And I hired a coach who really taught me what being successful is and it has absolutely nothing to do with numbers or what I look like or what’s in my bank account or the boyfriend or friends. It has everything to do with me.

My God it took me so long and I dedicated such a long time probably a good year. Patty to figure that out and when I started coming out of it just like I guess you know maybe six months ago or 2 year I was like. I get it and ready like I just felt like I hadn’t wanted to do anything for a year and then I went to this event and I saw the women on the stage and I’m like. I feel really good. I’m playing small. Like I’m ready. So.

Patty: So you give yourself permission to do it in your own time. And so you feel like that was the death of your ego or do you feel like.

Tara: Yes.

Patty: How do you go about it?

Tara: I actually I think we all have egos. My ego will still come up and I’m like are like you know settle down. You know I just I feel like what I’m doing now is more in alignment for the purpose the message and what it’s doing for other people.

Well what I did before was what it was doing for me like what could this brand do for me and how will people feel about me when I create this brand. Now I’m in a place of like what it’s doing for other people. It’s just so different. Everything about it is different.

Patty: Let’s continue with the show so what are you really excited about right now that you’re working on.

Tara: So I’m really excited. I’m rebranding Tone and Tease. It’s not just. I actually just put like a hold on the instructor certifications just because it wasn’t in alignment with what I wanted to do when I was like how cool that I can make that decision. So I’m still doing master classes.

I have something called the Tone and Tease experience where I traveled to other events I speak set the space for women to share about alter ego and show them how to connect mind and body movement through this program. And I created my own live event here in New Jersey something that I wanted to do. I feel like I talked about these five years ago.

Patty: A Leeds. Yeah.

Tara: And she’s like not ready. And if I was actually at Angie Leeds pace to be brave in October and some of the speakers on the stage I had spoken to. Atlas project with Laurie I’m sitting there and I’m like a part of me wanted to be on stage not ego but because I was like I know I can offer so much to this audience and I love being a student.

And I’m like that’s it. I’m like I’m ready to level up like it’s been too long. It’s been like a year and a half I haven’t done much of anything I’ve kind of played small. I’m doing enough but not nearly enough of what I knew that that I could do.

So. Then. I decided to pick a date for my live event then I pick a day and like it’s going to happen and like to admit that it’s really two weeks from today.

Patty: Yeah. Oh my gosh.

Tara: Yeah. And it’s all like in alignment with Tone and Tease is because it’s called your life unleashed. So this event has new movement to it. So I’m going on use they’re just like pieces of it. So yeah everything’s just just feels good.

Patty: And how do you feel about where you would have been say when you were shown your head and you were all ego. A I don’t think that would have happened.

How are you approaching the event this time? Like what are you impressed with yourself and how you’re managing that so that people hearing this be like oh I’m scared of having a bad. I’ve been thinking about it. I’m not sure I could do that. So where’s your headspace right now. Specific to the event what it’s going to look like.

Tara: It’s so funny. It depends on like the day and hour you ask me. But however you could honestly be so proud of me because I mean for those of you who don’t know me I’m definitely a reactor. That’s how I’ve been in the past. I react I like I cry I get nervous. You know I get like anxiety.

And like I said I really took a good year to take the tools I had learned over the years of so many coaches and events and you name it. So really tap into why I am like that. So now I’m taking it something comes up I take more breaths. I don’t react. Other stuff has come up for me in terms of like family things health things and I’m totally just. You know one of my coaches said don’t let your high speed you higher your lows be too low.

So in the midst of all this planning while other stuff is going on I’m just staying steady to the course. I have a lot of support and friends. And then I was thinking like if I’m going to create this game that I’ve wanted to like births for years. How amazing how creative we can be in this day and age. So why would I spend even the next two weeks being so nervous that I want to throw up if I’m not going to have fun with this. Like why would I do it?

So I’m really tapping into that because I don’t want this to go by. The event happened and me not being present and being like I could have been so present with that amount like why couldn’t I have more fun with that. Sure maybe I might say like her. I don’t believe that I’m the most polished speaker. There’s a lot for me to learn.

There’s a lot of things I would have done different but I’m just so proud that I took my idea and put it into action and I feel like it’s something that I’ve always done. And now I’m ready to show other people like literally with every single thing I’ve done in my life I’m like and you know me enough if I can do it I feel like anyone can but truly feel that way.

Patty: No.But its such humility now. I mean you’re just doing it because as you know if the idea comes to you it’s coming through you. Right. And we know that putting the event it’s about just doing it because that was the calling and letting go of what we think the outcome is supposed to be and instead just like doing it and know that you’d be surprised and this is what I personally experience is like I always used to have this notion of what I think things are supposed to look quite and then when I just let go of that and then just do it. I mean surprises happen.

Connections happen things that move you into a new direction. It’s just the coolest thing when you get out of your head and get out of this recession that we have what we think is what’s to look like it’s so ridiculous and actually really exhausting.

Tara: Yeah. Oh my gosh. I definitely have exhausted myself. I wasted a lot of time but I don’t even look at anything as I’m wasted. I have learned so much and I know how many people I can help from when I’ve been through you know. So yeah it’s just its really powerful and I’m so grateful for all the experiences even though like sometimes I’m like you know you wish you could go back and do things differently or react differently. But it’s you know if you have the willingness to learn and do the work the work actually really comes up and it helps in the long run.

Patty: Yeah For sure. So tell me what the best part of entrepreneurship is for you.

Tara: I love being creative I realized how creative I am. Like you know it’s so funny. I have been making up dances and showing my sisters and I was like a little girl when I was a cheerleader I used to make all the things up like I just always had a creative mind. But I feel like being so creative is so exciting for me I was supposed to be a health and design teacher.

I clearly love teaching and I really worked so hard to get a teaching job for two years and couldn’t find one. And I remember my sister saying she was like I almost don’t want you to get a 9 to 5 job because it will stifle your creativity. I didn’t know what she meant at that point.

You know I just like I always wanted to work. So, Learning about myself the creativeness the freedom to like as I am such a worker and so like this is not an easy task to do this kind of business like you’re your own boss but like I’m so dialed into what I’m doing and likes to willing to learn and expand and grow and it’s such a fun free amazing feeling.

Patty: That’s exciting I’m so proud of you. OK what some best represents your life?

Tara: Let’s go by Calvin Harris and Neyo.

Patty: More like its buddy. All right. Workers will develop or growth habit do you have. But really pissing of for you.

Tara: So. You know I want to say meditation but like it depends on the day how good I am breathing, breath work has been such. And this is the thing guys. It doesn’t have to look the same for everyone. Like I truly feel like when I teach that’s my moving meditation.

I don’t think of anybody else and I’m so present but in the moment I’m learning how to breathe. Taking a nice long deep breath like I used a fire breath you know whatever that is it’s my favorite.

Patty: I’m still loving right about your song. Okay. What is your definition of success?

Tara: Oh my gosh. How do you feel about yourself? Happiness. Like you know how you can decontextualize a moment and make it find the best out of it.

Patty: I love that it’s so true. And after all of said and done Tara Romano what do you want your legacy to be.

Tara: That you truly can be you or have anything that you want. If you’re willing to put the work into it.

Patty: That is amazing. I agree. I love it. And how do people get in touch with you. Learn more about your event. Connect with you with what you’re doing in Tone and Tease all of that.

Tara: I’m all over the place. tararomano.com , toneandtease.com. I’m always active on Facebook and Instagram with Tara Romano and Tone and Tease. You want to check out some old fitness Zumba videos you can go on my YouTube. But I actually want to say everyone who’s listening. This woman Patty Domínguez is one of the most epic humans.

I feel like she’s Burt’s me and this online space and I remember always telling her I was like always surprised that she would ever still work with me and I’m like I’ll always find something for you to do in terms of like hiring you and you could never not work with me. I feel like I a hundred percent would not be where I am today if it wasn’t for you.

Patty: I adore you because I love this evolution. I know. I still think that you definitely have to write a book. I definitely think you have a book in.

Tara: You can definitely help me with that too.

Patty: You’ll have that calling when you have to because you’re story is so amazing having so much introspection and personal development work that you’ve done. Certainly everything that you do to incorporate in your Tone and Tease and there’s a lot there there’s lot you can do by yourself and so it’s always my pleasure I always love you.

Tara: I love you.

Patty: I love you back. Tara Romano Thank you so much. All the link to get a hold of her. Going to be in the show notes please connect with her she really is the real deal. And she’s just an exceptional human being. Tara thanks you so much for being on her legacy podcast.

Tara: Thanks Patty. Can’t wait to see you again. Bye guys.

Links to get hold of Tara Romano;

tara romano (taraomano11@gmail.com),

Website: tararomano.com,

yourlifeunleashedevent.com,

Social Media Handles: Facebook and instagram and youtube,

https://www.yourlifeunleashedevent.com/squeeze.